Ridenour Family - December 2011

Ridenour Family - December 2011
Shanna, Jeff and Zoe, Santiago de Chile, December 2011

Monday, June 20, 2011

"Okay, Mommy?"

We're here! (And have been for a week and a half, but give me a break - I'm in a new country!)

We're currently in temporary housing, but we move into our place on June 30 - pictures to be posted then. :-) The temporary housing is... nice... and, well, efficient. I opened a door thinking there it was going to be a coat closet, but it was a bathroom... the size of a coat closet... and it even had a shower. Right.

This neighborhood is pretty awesome, though. It really doesn't feel like another country at all, except that everyone is speaking Spanish. So we could really be in Texas or California... except that the Spanish is different. If Jeff was writing this blog entry, he would probably go into specifics about how it's different, but this is Shanna. You're welcome. :-)

I feel like I'm slowly settling in. Zoe and I go to the park nearly every day - which she loves. And while Zoe is more than able to charm everyone with whom we come into contact, we still don't really know anyone yet (that lives near us anyway), so it's just me and Zoe during the day. My courage level to go out and attempt to accomplish tasks has been steadily increasing since we got here, but it always comes with frustrations. I'm used to being a pretty competent person, so going to a new country and recognizing that I don't know my way around, and I might not be able to ask anyone for help (or at least understand their help after I ask for it), is pretty scary - and humbling.

Por ejemplo: Our second day here, Zoe and I were supposed to meet someone at the Embassy and go to a nearby mall and check it out. (Yes, the malls here are incredible.) So, I walked over to the Embassy - just a block or two - and presented my tourist passport (our diplomatic passports were in the Embassy since we were being "documented") and expect to head right inside. The Chilean security staff just looked at me and said, in Spanish, "What do you need, ma'am?" And I realized that I had no idea how to say in Spanish what I was trying to do. I attempted, failed, and then left... because they weren't going to let me in without an appointment anyway! (Good for them.) In retrospect, I should have told them that Jeff works at the embassy, or that my friend was waiting for me... all phrases I know how to say! But I didn't. I got flustered and retreated.

THEN the other day, I got flustered with something else... who knows what it was... and Zoe actually walked over to me, patted me on the back, and asked in the sweetest little voice I've ever heard, "Okay, Mommy?"

I froze. Yes, I was okay. I was just being dramatic. (Duh.) And instead of focusing on and feeling good about the fact that Zoe learned that from ME... caring for her when she's upset, checking on her and always thinking of her well-being... I started thinking, "Oh. What ELSE is she fully aware of? Is she going to be as fluster-able as me when she's older? What other horrible traits am I passing on to her just because she's watching me?"

It was a scary moment. And then it passed... because I realized that Zoe was caring for me. That in her own little way, she was concerned about me. And that was really comforting because even when I'm feeling really alone in this (or any) new place, I'm not alone. Jeff, Zoe and I have each other.

Such a good reminder. Oh. And no, I still haven't been to that mall yet. I'll let you know.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so glad to hear a bit from you! What a sweet little girl. How amazing that she's learned compassion so young. I am thinking of you and feeling for you, knowing that it will get easier with each day but when you're in it, it seems to take so long. Before you know it, you'll be chatting it up with the guards! Abrazos!!

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